Fewer words, shorter syllables

So not in a good mood tonight. J just got home from band practice & I got a sore throat while trying to put words to the sediment encrusted feelings that prevented clear action for me today. The closest I could get to a useable description included imagery of a donkey, digging heels in and trailing those heel marks behind it.

The last few days have passed in a haze of house cleaning, naps at odd times & staring at piles of paper that I will (with my stare) to file themselves. There have been e-mails to wrap up loose ends and other things tossed into the garbage. I've been restless & withdrawn, which I'm ostensibly ok with but it's a drag considering how beautiful it's been lately and how much I want to get done that isn't bare bones practical. It also makes it tough to converse with folks, hence the title.

Started reading Jung's work on synchronicity. So far I get it that he's stating that statistics are only valuable when applied to things in large numbers or simply relative to each other - which leaves a wide gap, statistically speaking, for experiences that fall out of the norm. The guy summarizing Jung's work suggests that Jung proves that astrology and the like don't work on a statistical level. It's good to see this type of analysis in writing & I'm hanging on to the theoretical language as best I can.

I'm reading this book alongside Neitzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra. I'm wandering through, having just reached part two. While surfing on Nietzsche topics online, I came across a story about his tumultuous love of Lou Salome. She wrote about Nietzsche, along with later lovers Rainier Maria Rilke & Freud. Somehow, it makes it easier to read Nietzsche's odd views on women knowing what the women in his life were like.

Sefik Can wraps up the trio of books I've been reading. Persia in the 1200's is fascinating reading. The formalities of Rumi's life, the details and intricacies take a few re-readings to absorb the meaning. I'm reading it with a bunch of other folks, arguing & debating really. That helps with the deciphering.

Apart from the above pursuits, I'm working on detoxing, on refining my diet. Nothing drastic, just adding cod liver oil to my diet, along with a few other teas & vitamins. But that alone is tough and it was too tough to continue while John was here. So, I'm feeling a bit goofy struggling with getting back on track and it doesn't make it any easier that I choose this topic to clam up on, not letting folks know what I need. There's plenty of precedent for that, I know. Food is such a social thing and social things can be fragile. It's sometimes easier to not disclose what you're eating or not eating when there's food prepared already & it's close to time to go.

Did I mention that I deleted photoshop from my computer & my cd drive is still not working? There's that happening now too.

Grumpy, me.

Jung's Memories, Dreams, Reflections biography has been a great read over the holidays. I've dog-eared pages where Jung refers to other books for future research. Previous discussions of Jung with friends have centered around his willingness to explore parapsychology, astrology and the like - in order to determine the nature of the psyche. When a friend mentioned that he was involved in the creation of Alcoholics Anonymous, I was honestly surprised. I found a letter he sent to Bill W. on the web - interesting stuff. click here to view the letter. click here for an editorial on reading Jung.

In one of the passages, Jung describes the house he built for himself in Bollingen, a stone tower without electricity, running water or heat. I wonder what it would take for me to live with less? Jung states that he came into his own in Bollingen, that the simplicity of life was part of that. As I review the commitments I'd like to make to myself this year, I'm looking at the material things I've carried with me, things once full of potential that I can now let go.

Our home is quiet now, our guests left last night. Jason's parents and brother enjoyed their stay and we enjoyed having them. We took them to the Experience Music Project, the Seattle Art Museum, went to see The Rabbit Proof Fence, played pool and relaxed together. At home, piles of books and music kept everyone occupied when conversation lulled. I don't think they missed the tv. Well, I did hear comments about missed football games, but the pool hall had Sunday's games running, so that should've taken care of that.

One of the perks of having my Mother-in-law in town is that she provided moral support as I tried for the sixth or seventh time to remove stains from my Sema gown (tennure). My good friend Lee made Sema costumes for both Jason and myself. She did an amazing job in a very short amount of time. She volunteered at the ceremony and afterward recommended that I come over for an evening of alterations that would improve the look of the costumes for next year. So I washed our black capes (Hirkas) and the rest of the costumes together and discovered that the black belts (the elif-lam-end) had stained both my tennure and our short jackets (deste-guls). After several failed attempts, I let Lee know that the tennures were stained and I was out of ideas. She ended up testing the remaining scraps of fabric she had with bleach and discovered that they didn't yellow as she had feared. I loaded the costumes into the washer one last time and was pleased to see that only the faintest staining remained at the hem of the skirt.
click here to read about Sema ceremony, especially the music.
click here to see the Sema costumes in action.

New Years' Eve approaches and this looks like a quiet one. Dan called tonight with an invite to a party and I've heard of several others, including one in Virginia that looks promising - but I figure this is my only chance to chill, so I'm taking it.

click here for a bit of holiday interactive cheer.